The Sharp Knife of a Short Life
by Ozuchi-Kozuchi
Summary: "The world has ended. She is gone." How does Komui deal with the lost of the center of his world? A short 2-shot, Komui-centric.
1. Chapter 1

The world has ended. She's gone. I sit still, gripping the arms of my chair. My knuckles turn white, as people rush around me. I stay still. This can't be happening. Just hours ago, she was standing in front of this desk, with me in this chair, saying good-bye. She said she'd come home safe. She told me not to worry.

My breath chokes in my throat, my chest heaving with sobs I can't let go. I can't cry. Not here. Not when I can't even _understand_. What just happened? One minute, the world is whole, and life is moving as normal. In the next, we come to a shattering halt. The department is in pandemonium. I still can't move. The arms on the chair are beginning to break.

I catch sight of Johnny, standing in the middle of the room. This is what sends me over. Over the edge, into the pit. A pit of what I don't yet know. All I know is that his standing there, grief and shock etched into his face, the tears streaming down his face from those shocked eyes. He sways slightly where he stands, then lowers himself to the floor gently, before wrapping his arms around his legs. Nobody pays him any mind in the panic.

"Lenalee…" I croak. The world holds its breath. All eyes turn to me, as I slowly rise from the chair, which groans in relief as I release my grip on it. My arms hang limp at my side. "Lenalee…" I repeat. Do I know what else I'm saying? No. She is all that matters right now. I turn to Reever, who has been approaching me slowly, as one would a wounded animal…or a wounded man.

"Where…where is Lenalee?" I manage to ask, trying to clear the fog in my head. It's pounding, an unbelievable pressure behind my eyes.

Reever stops his approach, a few feet away from me, as if I'm dangerous. Maybe I am? "Komui…" Reever's voice is gentle. I've never heard it before. It scares me.

"Where is Lenalee?" I demand through clenched teeth. My hands have balled into fists of their own accord.

"Komui…she's dead." The bluntness in his tone floors me. I crumple in a heap. I can hear the voices around me, as people surge forward to help. Reever holds them back. He _knows_ I'm dangerous now. He knows that I am broken. I sit on the cold tile floor, trying to comprehend what has happened.

My sister…my beautiful little baby sister…is dead. I can't even doubt it anymore. Because deep down, in the pit of my stomach, I know it to be true.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own -man.

**A/N**: I would like to dedicate this story to my grandma, who passed away recently. I know it's different from what I usually write, but I hope you enjoy it none the less. Also, I got the title from the song: "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry. I thought it was fitting.

P.S: This WILL be continued.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I'm not sure on how emotional this is compared to the first chapter, but it seems to work. I'm a little iffy on what the Bridget looks like, so please be nice. Reviews are much appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM.

I was woken up by my assistant softly calling my name. I opened my eyes slowly. She stood over my desk, looking uncertain. I wearily lifted my head from my desk, tasting the bitterness on my tongue that I'd come to associate with memories of that day. It seemed so long ago. Only a week had passed since the death of my dear Lenalee. Today was the service.

I groaned, standing up slowly. She looked relieved. From her black attire, closely matching my own, I assumed the service was starting soon. "Mr. Lee," she began. I stood there for a moment, trying to remember her name. My brain felt fuzzy almost. _I think her name is…Bridget? Yes, Bridget_, I thought.

"Yes Ms. Bridget?" I asked. My voice sounded cracked, probably from lack of use the past few days. Her hair, a light shade of reddish orange, similar to copper wire in color, was piled into a bun on her head. It reminded me that I needed to do something with my own messy hair. I reached into my desk in search of a hairbrush that wasn't there. I growled in frustration before seeing the brush offered to me. I allowed my self a small, meaningless smile. I thanked her carefully, trying not to vent my anger at the world on the woman. She left quietly, after hearing reassurance I'd be leaving my office soon.

I sighed and quickly ran the brush through my hair, tossing it haphazardly into the open drawer. I placed my signature beret on my head. Just like with any other Exorcist, Lenalee would have my respect in the gesture of it's removal for the funeral. She deserved it. But I was her brother first and foremost, and she'd given me the beret in the first place. I couldn't just leave it behind.

After I locked the door to the room, I turned down the hall and nearly ran into Reever. Surprise registered momentarily on his face, likely due to the fact I'd barely left my office in the week prior. He quickly regained his composure. "C'mon Chief. You need to get something to eat."

I blinked in surprise. "But I'm already late."

"No. I told Bridget to hurry you up so you _wouldn't_ be late. You need to eat something." His tone gave me the feeling I wouldn't be able to get out of this. I grumbled my protests but allowed him to lead me to the cafeteria.

I was hungry, now that I thought about it. I really couldn't remember when I'd eaten last, much less what it was. I frowned. I really couldn't remember much of the beginning of the week. I'd been…dead. I think Reever had taken care of most everything…I looked over at him, walking quietly. He'd taken care of everything when I'd been off in my own little world, and then helped me plan the service after I'd surfaced from the depths of my messed up mind.

"Thank you Reever." I said it so quietly I don't know if I was expressing my thoughts out loud or really thanking him.

He cast me a glance, never slowing his brisk pace. "Anytime Chief." We parted ways at the cafeteria, me lingering by the doorway as he went off to do some last minute planning. I peered into the room before me. The place was somber, devoid of the usual small talk and occasional laughter. It felt like a tomb as I walked into the room, careful not to make eye-contact; I didn't want the pitying glances, or the adverted stares. I reached Jerry's counter without any hassle.

Jerry had his back turned, cooking something that caused steam to engulf the area of the kitchen he was in. "Just a minute!" he called, not bothering to look over his shoulder yet. He turned, wiping his glasses on his apron. "So, what can I get…" he trailed off, realizing who he was talking to. I didn't know what to say.

I was shocked into taking a step back as he burst into tears. "I'm so sorry Komui!" he pulled me into an uncomfortable hug over the counter. "I can just imagine how you feel. Loosing that precious girl." He pulled back, holding me at arms length, as if examining me for damage. "How are you holding up?"

I smiled. Jerry was a good friend to have. "I'm hanging in there…" I replied, not wanting to worry him anymore.

He gave me a look that showed he knew I was lying. I quickly placed my order in and shuffled away from the counter until my food was ready. A voice called out across the room, "Komui, over here!" I scoped out the voice, surprised to see it came from Johnny. I wandered over to where he sat, before stopping cold at seeing who he sat by. It was the Exorcists…the ones who'd been with my sister when she'd died. Johnny sat spaced from the others, giving them a little room. I could see why.

Allen sat with his head on his hand, gazing at something only he could see. His eyes were tinged with red, as if he'd been crying. I figured he'd probably been, remembering how close he'd been to Lenalee. I'd always expected there was a little more than friendship between them, but he made her happy, so who was I to object. I thought back to how Reever had explained that Allen had saved her Innocence from being destroyed. For that I was grateful.

My gaze travel down Allen and Johnny's side of the table. At the end sat Miranda with Noise Marie across from her, having a quiet conversation. Miranda had been crying as well. The Generals had claimed the table next to ours. I sat down next to Johnny, looking at who sat across from me. Lavi sat next to Kanda, probably closer than was normally deemed safe, but then again it wasn't a normal day. They both had purple bags under their eyes. It made me wonder how I looked, with the near non-existent amount of sleep I'd been getting. Kanda glared into his tea, while Lavi silently drank what appeared to be coffee. This sent a twinge of sorrow through me. I'd never receive coffee from her again…

I looked over at Allen again. He looked worn thin. I finally noticed what was off with this scene. Not even Allen was eating. I frowned. I could almost hear Lenalee scolding him on not keeping his strength up. I slid my plate in front of him. He looked over with dulled eyes, seemingly surprised. I nodded towards the plate. "She'd want you to eat."

He stared at me a moment longer before beginning to eat. I sighed again, which I'd been doing a lot recently. I cast a glance at the other table members. The senior Exorcists lacked the tell-tale marks that they'd been crying. I blinked, my mind finally processing that this was likely harder on Allen and Miranda. They'd both been close to my sister, as were the rest of us, but they hadn't really acclimated to this lifestyle of death.

Not like Lavi or Kanda. They'd both been close to her, but they'd been in this…line of business, so to speak, a lot longer. I looked up at them, surprised to find Lavi watching me. It was unnerving, that green eye just staring at me. Recording me. I wondered how he felt. The Bookmen didn't have emotions, according to Bookman himself.

Lavi broke eye-contact first. "C'mon Yu, we'd better head over there…" Nobody had to ask what "there" meant. Kanda got up and followed without a fuss. It was odd behavior for him, but there was a good reason today.

The rest of the cafeteria slowly filed out the doors. I couldn't move. I looked at the large clock on the wall. I had about 20 minutes to get to the funeral. I looked around, startled to find Allen standing by me, hand outstretched. I looked from his hand to his face. He had a thin smile plastered on. "She wouldn't want you to be late," he said quietly.

I reluctantly grabbed the hand offered and let him help me off the hard bench. I exhaled, dreading saying that last farewell to my sister. My sweet Lenalee. I followed Allen out the doors and down the halls.

I passed a window and was brought to a halt yet again. I watched as a bird worked on making a nest out of twigs. It seemed…peaceful, just working away, unaware of the sorrow taking place next to its home. _I want her to be a bird_. The thought came unbidden, making me wonder if I'd already though about it subconsciously. I wanted my sister to become a bird in her next life. Why? So she could fly like she once had, graceful and strong. So that she could be free of the chains the Innocence had given her. I didn't want her trapped to the ground. That wouldn't be _my _Lenalee.

I turned back to where Allen stood, uncertain of whether to continue. I hurried along. I'd not miss my little bird's send off into the next world.


End file.
